Wednesday, June 2, 2010


My daughter's car has a very unusual trait.
It attracts thieves, robbers and generally not very nice people.
I mean, it actually attracts them, like a magnet.

The Chrysler Labaron in question has seen better days. I'm sure when it rolled off the assembly line in 1998, she was an impressive ride. It's a convertible, so there were probably plenty of oohs and aahs when it was fired up for the first time.

She got a great deal when she purchased it from a friend. He charged her $1. Yep, just one dollar. Now, that's a good friend.

But then the weirdness started.
When she brought the car back home for the first time, I noticed the rag top had black duct tape above the passenger seat. She explained that yes, while her friend still owned the car, someone cut the top with a knife to gain access to the inside door handle. Oh, ok.

A few months goes by and she made the unfortunate mistake of coming home the same day a bunch of car thieves scheduled an appointment with our neighborhood. Can you say slice #2 in the rag top?
This time they reached in and removed a GPS that was still in the car.

What infuriated my daughter was the fact they cut another hole in her soft top. All they had to do was lift up the duck tape that was already there covering the first gash, and slip their arm in.
But noooo, they had to make another cut.

A few months goes by and DC, where she lives, is hit with one of the worst snow storms in history. Erin walks out to her car one day, and the driver side window is in a thousand pieces on her front seat. There was nothing in the car to take. A big "club"was displayed prominently on the steering wheel. I asked her why they didn't just go through the top like the other guys did? She said the soft top was covered with 2 ft of snow. Oh.
It's an old Labaron for heavens sake!

The other day, she calls to tell me her car was broken into again, in DC.
Her car WAS UNLOCKED! On purpose so no one would "break in."
I just started laughing. That's three cuts in the top now.
I'm worried she doesn't have enough duct tape.

I've been driving a car for 39 years. I've owned 10 different cars and trucks.
I've been broken into once.

She's owned this car for a relatively short time, maybe 2 years?
She's had it broken into 4 times.
Don't you think that's a bit excessive.
It's a Labaron! What's the attraction?
It has more dents and dings than a demolition derby contestant. When it rains it collects more water than a cistern.

Have you ever seen the Stephen King movie titled, "Christine?"
The Labaron doesn't have a mind of it's own, but there is something very strange going on with that car.

Her plan now is to park the car, leave it unlocked and put a sign in the window saying, "this car is unlocked. Just open the door and have a look around."
Maybe that will work.


slommler said...

Ha! The sign is a great idea but one problem. Most of these guys can't read!!!! That is why they are out there trying to steal cars!

Frau said...

heehee I hope the sign works! Some cars just attract some more than others. Could be where she and all. I had a car that was always being would roll through parking lot and land on my was a dent magnet!

nacherluver said...

Ha ha ha! The sign idea is hilarious! and somewhat brilliant :)
Humor is definitely the way to deal with that situation unless you prefer buckets of tears!`

Melinda Owens said...

Love this post. Very funny. And? a)I adore Stephen King b)love me some duct tape and c)think your daughter is brilliant! Good luck, Mark's daughter. Maybe she could just leave the top down in nice weather?

beth said...

the sign is genius !
but you have to get through 1st grade in order to read it, so many people were just excluded.

and yes.....christine was one of the first scary movies i saw....along with carrie and amityville horror.....

i hope she can keep her wits about her....this is the kind of thing that would put me over the edge....

but i'm kind of wimp when it comes to personal invasion....

Vicky said...

Gotta love a car with a personality, not to mention a story to tell. A Lebaron as a crime magnet... too funny! At least your daughter has a sense of humor about it.

My husband's office was broken into... twice... couldn't get the safe out the first time so they came back for it... ha ha for them it only has all of our family history in it... much more valuable than money... and they got caught trying to wheel it down the street in my husbands office chair!!

Anonymous said...

1993 Dad! :)


dcpeg said...

As much as I love the idea of the sign, her insurance agent might not appreciate it.

Sad to say, I think it's the neighborhood she lives in. If she could find a garage spot, it might help. But $$$$$$$$

Lisa said...

haha--great post! Very clever girl (your daugher--not Christine). I hope the sign works. If not, maybe she could secretly tape the thieves and sell the video to "Dumbest Criminals." :)

Mark said...

As you can see, I've been corrected. It's a 1993.