I want to be king of the world for a day. Some things need to be straightened out in this world, and I'm just the guy to do it.

If I was King, and was granted three wishes, I would....

#1- Outlaw guns. Yep, guns, every one of them.
Have you seen the news? Some crazed idiot in Norway of all places, picking off children with a rifle, like he was shooting balloons at the local carnival.

I would melt down every rifle, pistol, bow and dart gun and use the steel to build.....I don't know, anything.
I'd take the cops guns also. If there were no guns on the streets, the cops wouldn't need them either. Give em a bat...whatever.

I know I probably just insulted a bunch of hunters and people who need to own guns because it is our right, but hey, when our forefathers wrote the words you love to quote, they didn't think it would be possible to pick off human beings like so many ducks in a pond.
Sorry, if hunting is your thing, get a new hobby. Get over it.
I used to play basketball for a hobby. My knees won't allow that now.
I lived through the ordeal of picking another hobby, you will too.

#2- Outlaw partisan squabbling that is going to really screw up the country I live in.
Democrats AND Republicans....it's sickening.

#3- Brussel Sprouts. Get rid of them. It would be against the law to grow them, eat them or cook them. The penalty for harboring brussel sprouts would be steep.
I'm talking jail time. Transporting brussel sprouts across state lines would be a federal crime.

In fact, before you melt down your guns, you can use them to shoot at brussel sprout plants.
Those things are just nasty.