Friday, July 22, 2011

I want to be king of the world for a day. Some things need to be straightened out in this world, and I'm just the guy to do it.

If I was King, and was granted three wishes, I would....

#1- Outlaw guns. Yep, guns, every one of them.
Have you seen the news? Some crazed idiot in Norway of all places, picking off children with a rifle, like he was shooting balloons at the local carnival.

I would melt down every rifle, pistol, bow and dart gun and use the steel to build.....I don't know, anything.
I'd take the cops guns also. If there were no guns on the streets, the cops wouldn't need them either. Give em a bat...whatever.

I know I probably just insulted a bunch of hunters and people who need to own guns because it is our right, but hey, when our forefathers wrote the words you love to quote, they didn't think it would be possible to pick off human beings like so many ducks in a pond.
Sorry, if hunting is your thing, get a new hobby. Get over it.
I used to play basketball for a hobby. My knees won't allow that now.
I lived through the ordeal of picking another hobby, you will too.

#2- Outlaw partisan squabbling that is going to really screw up the country I live in.
Democrats AND's sickening.

#3- Brussel Sprouts. Get rid of them. It would be against the law to grow them, eat them or cook them. The penalty for harboring brussel sprouts would be steep.
I'm talking jail time. Transporting brussel sprouts across state lines would be a federal crime.

In fact, before you melt down your guns, you can use them to shoot at brussel sprout plants.
Those things are just nasty.


Joey said...

I'm just catching up with your posts! We will be in NY today for a Yankee game. Yup! HOTHOTHOT! Hope you can stay cool!

BTW - what was the song Bryn had played at the ceremony that you and your wife had at your wedding???

PS - I HATED Brussel Sprouts and now I actually like them. Whats up with that!

SueAnn said...

I like Brussel Sprouts too! So I can't agree with number three...but I am with you on everything else.
I hunt at my local grocery story....the meat department!!!

Karen said...

I think you should run for President of the World, Mark. I'll vote for you.

I hate brussel sprouts too... never did acquire a taste for them. Why would you want to try?

Karen said...

Mark, you got me rolling today, and I referenced your post. I hope that's OK.

beth said...

you are so funny. i salute you king mark...
at least for today.

get those brussel sprouts out of here first though :)

Hilary said...

I loved your first two things.....I SO agree, but brussel sprouts!!! Hey, c'mon.
I love them sauteed in garlic and oil.......yummo.
Love your rant, though. Other than that.

missing moments said...

Hi Mark ... stopped in after reading Karen's (this old house 2) blog today. Totally agree with you on items 1 & 2. But sorry, dear new friend, I love brussel sprouts! LOL

Anyway, I'm going to be a regular. New follower here!

Cait Throop said...

Hi Mark, came here from This Old House 2 and hey let's melt some guns!!! I'm with you totally. I don't know what to do with the politicans, though...hmmm...make them eat brussel sprouts?

Jerral Miles said...

You get my vote on all counts...

Zorana said...

You lost me at brussel sprouts... I was ready to write a petition to proclaim you King of the day, so that you can melt all guns and clear the political mess, but brussel sprouts? Little, green, fun elements of flavor and nutrition? Now, if you said sushi...

Debb said...

Go for it... melt those guns down and as for the Brussel Sprouts... who cares..

Formerly known as Frau said...

OH my I totally agree guns.....drugs....yucky veggies!

dcpeg said...

Now wait a minute! I LIKE brussels sprouts. I'll arm wrestle over that one. As for the other two: YOU RULE!

If your majesty would allow, I would like to add that Congress should keep it's collective nose out of our private lives. That would smooth out alot of issues, eh?

Marilyn said...

Oh I love this!!! Your changes here are perfect. Now let it happen, please! And no brussel sprouts and no guns!