Tuesday, January 26, 2010


I hate asking for help. I don't know why that is.
I love giving help. If I see a fellow crew member struggling with something, I'll jump right in.

I could be working in the engine room, and need to lift, lower or move something really heavy. I'll spend 20 minutes trying to come up with an alternate way of doing it, by myself, rather than asking any of the 3 guys who are sitting in the galley watching TV and eating chips.

What's weird is I KNOW they wouldn't mind at all, but I still won't ask.

At home, I don't mind one little bit if a neighbor asks to borrow a tool of some kind. They ask, I'll give it. No problem.
But if I'm working around the house, and I need a tool right now, a tool that I know I'll probably never use again, I'll stop what I'm doing, get in the car and drive to Home Depot and spend another 20 minutes walking around that vast cave-like area searching for this tool I know I'll use once.
Meanwhile, I know that my neighbor, who I'm very friendly with and who lives 100 yards from me, has 2 of these tools sitting in his garage.

I know, I know, it's very odd. My wife thinks so too, but she uses another word to describe it and it sounds like CUPID.

The other day one of our company tugs had some engine problems.

They called our tug for help.
As usual, I was glad to help. They were entering Ambros Channel, basically the roadway into New York Harbor, when their problems surfaced. That's not a good place to encounter problems.

They needed us to take control of their barge so they could concentrate on their problems.

We've been in that situation before and I always feel bad that someone had to come bail us out of a jam.

The tug crew that calls for help sort of walks around with their tail between their legs as the tug crew that comes to help, in this case it's us, we arrive with our chests out, all proud. We're here to save the day.

I don't know if that has anything to do with my odd little quirk or not, but I know one thing. If I need a rake to rake the leaves, I won't ask to borrow one.

My Captain just recently gave me my evaluation. I received great scores in everything. Could the fact that we just gave him a big brass plaque that says, TUG BOAT CAPTAIN OF THE YEAR have anything to do with it? (click here to see)

I noticed in one category my score dropped off. It was titled,
DELEGATES work: I received a 3 out of 5.

I have to work on asking for help.


Alison said...

Do you use the word 'bloke' in the States? Anyway, what you describe is just a bloke thing, I reckon! Kind of like asking for directions. Wouldn't it be MUCH better to just keep driving round and round and hoping for the best? Hmmmm! Lol.

Frau said...

Congrats...but ask for help Cupid!

slommler said...

Congrats on your review..!! It isn't a sign of weakness to ask for help. Try it out more often. You know how it makes you feel to help someone. Give someone else a chance to feel this way.

beth said...

wait....are you secretly my husband's long lost twin.. we've been looking for you for years !!!

delegates.....yeah, he doesn't use that word either !!

and you should see how he freaks out when I do something he thinks he should be changing light bulbs in the really high ceiling or carrying something really heavy....

oh he freaks out.....

Rants and Raves...Peace and Praise said...

Oh my goodness!!! After reading this post I realize I am the same way...I love helping other people but I rarely, if ever ask for help. I was laughing so hard when you wrote that you would stop what you were doing and go buy what you need instead of asking a neighbor or someone you know very well has what you need. Too..Too funny. I need to be a better delegator as well.