Out of control

I would like to apologize

for being missing in action

on this blog of mine,

but I recently got one of these....

and now I can't function as a normal human being.

I am now a member of the smart phone fraternity.

And as you know,

I now can't make a trip to the bathroom

without bringing it with me.

I can't put it down.

Giving up crack is easier.

( or so I've heard.)

Why do I feel it necessary to check the weather forecast for India?

I have an app called "stock watch."

I don't have any stock

but I noticed a sharp downturn in the Dow recently. 

My neck hurts from looking down all the time.

I found myself tweeting with a guy named "bc_chamber"

at 10 pm last night

during Thursday Night Football.

I have no idea who bc_chanber is.

I downloaded an app called 100 pushups.

Who am I kidding?

I checked my smart phone twice while writing this.

My phone is a "hotspot."

I don't know what that means.

I'm sitting at my dining room table.

I just opened the "Maps" app.

It says I am 5 minutes from home.

Ok.

It's not THAT smart.

I can't figure out how to listen to my voicemail,

but I have this really cool game called "field goal 2014,"

so if I don't pick up

don't bother leaving a message.

My grass needs cutting

and my dog needs walking,

but as you can see

I have a message waiting for me on my phone.

The grass can wait.