Friday, September 20, 2013

Out of control

I would like to apologize
for being missing in action
on this blog of mine,
but I recently got one of these....

and now I can't function as a normal human being.

I am now a member of the smart phone fraternity.
And as you know,
I now can't make a trip to the bathroom
without bringing it with me.

I can't put it down.
Giving up crack is easier.
( or so I've heard.)

Why do I feel it necessary to check the weather forecast for India?

I have an app called "stock watch."
I don't have any stock
but I noticed a sharp downturn in the Dow recently. 

My neck hurts from looking down all the time.

I found myself tweeting with a guy named "bc_chamber"
at 10 pm last night
during Thursday Night Football.

I have no idea who bc_chanber is.

I downloaded an app called 100 pushups.
Who am I kidding?

I checked my smart phone twice while writing this.

My phone is a "hotspot."
I don't know what that means.

I'm sitting at my dining room table.
I just opened the "Maps" app.
It says I am 5 minutes from home.
It's not THAT smart.

I can't figure out how to listen to my voicemail,
but I have this really cool game called "field goal 2014,"
so if I don't pick up
don't bother leaving a message.

My grass needs cutting
and my dog needs walking,
but as you can see
I have a message waiting for me on my phone.

The grass can wait.


Donna said...

This post makes me want to smile - and cry - all at the same time. Another one sucked into the black hole... alas.

Wayne (Woody), whatever said...

Welcome to the dark side. You will soon become accustomed to juggling the phone while mowing, DAMHIK.

beth said...

oh mark, what took you so long? welcome to those of us who will regularly see chiropractors for our necks and no longer have the conversational skills we used to have....but hey, we take great photos :)

Denise at Autumn Sky said...

Don't forget about Facebook.

Karen said...

....oh yes, the photo and app and navigation and flashlight and tweeting and note taking and news sluething and e-mail answering capabilities you now hold in your hand...and you will.. hold it in your hand... forever and ever, Amen.

I have the names of a great chiropractor and physical therapist if you need a reference. But.. there's also an app for that.

Barefoot from Heaven said...

yeeeehaaaa welcome to the club bro.
I still can remember vividly about your reaction to some who got a new Phone...:-)))
Enjoy the new life buddy, and let me know how fun it is. Sending tekst by app brings so much happienes.
Well cu around.
Hugs Dagmar

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh my gosh...thanks for the giggles. It is a slippery slope. Next thing you know, you'll have your smart phone, your laptop AND your ipad on your lap.
No, I swear that isn't me!!!! LOL
Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Don't forget to look up once in a while; I hear there is good stuff outside of technology. But those people are probably lying.

Jerral Miles said...

furlough over...

Joey said...

Welcome to the dark side, my friend. There's no going back...

Marilyn said...

So funny! No sure I need it.
I still haven't given in yet.
Right now I need a new laptop.