I would like to apologize
for being missing in action
on this blog of mine,
but I recently got one of these....
and now I can't function as a normal human being.
I am now a member of the smart phone fraternity.
And as you know,
I now can't make a trip to the bathroom
without bringing it with me.
I can't put it down.
Giving up crack is easier.
( or so I've heard.)
Why do I feel it necessary to check the weather forecast for India?
I have an app called "stock watch."
I don't have any stock
but I noticed a sharp downturn in the Dow recently.
My neck hurts from looking down all the time.
I found myself tweeting with a guy named "bc_chamber"
at 10 pm last night
during Thursday Night Football.
I have no idea who bc_chanber is.
I downloaded an app called 100 pushups.
Who am I kidding?
I checked my smart phone twice while writing this.
My phone is a "hotspot."
I don't know what that means.
I'm sitting at my dining room table.
I just opened the "Maps" app.
It says I am 5 minutes from home.
It's not THAT smart.
I can't figure out how to listen to my voicemail,
but I have this really cool game called "field goal 2014,"
so if I don't pick up
don't bother leaving a message.
My grass needs cutting
and my dog needs walking,
but as you can see
I have a message waiting for me on my phone.
The grass can wait.